Celebrities Archives - Diary of a Lost Soul

The Kylie Debacle

8 Mar 2020 No Comments

Source: Kylie Jenner Instagram

I probably have said it before but social media is a great place to get writing content. There is just something about the court of public opinion that pushes me into my inner social justice warrior form either crusading alongside them in agreeance, or fighting against them for the greater good of mankind. But something different happened this week when the topic of Kylie Jenner surfaced concerning the latest campaign she featured in for her ex-beau Travis Scott and Nike’s collaboration, it appeared that users were battling in views regarding the hairstyle she sported between it just being a style that is free for everyone to use, or if once again the black community had been ‘swagger jacked’ by a repeatedly offending culture vulture. I found it difficult to agree or completely disagree with the commenters who were a mix of people in a complete uproar as to why it is okay for characteristics that are widely discredited for black women when assigned to another race are supported or considered fashionable, and those who thought that females were having another groan about “just a plait” thinking is it really that deep?

woman wearing white sleeveless lace shirt — Photo by nappy on Pexels.com

I am a blogger, podcaster, and professional, but most importantly a black woman who is extremely proud of her heritage and over the 30 years I have been on this earth has been subject to hate for many reasons mainly that have been related to the physical attributes we naturally hone. Big lips, wide hips, darker skin, and nappy hair have consistently been reasons to cast us out of the limelight, deem us lesser than our racial opposites and consider us to be damn unpretty. So when I see another woman unlike myself representing the very things we are berated for and being worshipped over it definitely rises to the surface some unresolved feelings. When I first saw the melee I rolled my eyes at the thought of yet another pointless debate about a nonsensical concept that changes not a single person’s life, I mean how can an extra-long plait cause so much racial contention? But thinking deeper about the topic it made me realise that the outrage for the hairstyle exemplifies the years of never being good enough however we present ourselves.

A part of me feels slightly sorry for people like Kylie Jenner, as a Christian we are taught to forgive those who do not understand what the are doing and I truly believe that although her business and pop culture acumen are identified to be top tier. Her ability to understand race relations and the struggle of the black community is extremely lacking lustre, as a model which was her representation within this campaign she essentially is highly blameless. My pitchfork is aimed at Travis Scott who claims to be a member of our society but continues to stand for things that do not speak for who we are as a collective. This is a revolving door for our community from the Kanye West’s to the ASAP Rocky’s who break barriers by gaining fame within a highly selective industry and having a large platform but refuse to utilise it to better the idealogy of how we are viewed. In his defence with Kylie being the mother of his young child, this truly could have been a move to continue the pattern of generational wealth within his family, but I am yet to see choices made by himself that help perpetuate much more positive images of our livelihoods.

I think overall what this debate really ensued was unfortunately, the world is still within a place where black people remain uncredited or uplifted for their natural characteristics, innovation or intelligence. I believe that the only way to combat this issue is if we as the black community begin to come together and share our opportunities with our brothers and sisters if we keep waiting for big organisations to give us that big break it will never be the right amount of change that we want to see. I mean, how can we scream and shout at everyone else when our own people in positions of power refuse to represent us correctly?

Diary OF a Lost Soul

The Pretty Girl Complex?!

12 Jan 2020 No Comments

Source: NBC News

I find the ideas for blog posts in some of the weirdest places, from nights out speaking to random strangers or overhearing conversations during my commute to work, it proves that anything is a topic for deep debate. But today’s inspiration was curated from the Instagram comments of commentator and Youtube talk show host ZeZe Millz, I literally never EVER read the comments sections of anyone I have followed unless someone points me in that direction. But as I was scrolling through in my unconscious social media zombie state I came across a screenshot of a tweet ZeZe had posted regarding her thoughts on the breaking news that it appears that Socialite and Model Lori Harvey has made it official with rapper Future.

Millz post alludes to the notion of women consistently being held to unreasonable standards by men in order to be considered “Wifey Material”, a phrase that is used to aid in categorising women in regards to their attributes but will completely abolish this standard for women who have a particular status or are aesthetically pleasing. I was about to continue scrolling, but it was a comment from Youtube BkChat debater Lucas that caught my attention which I felt tried to what other commenters coined as “Mansplain” reasons as to why Lori who since last year has been tied to a number of high profile industry men including Diddy, Trey Songz and Memphis DePay to name a few was exempt from this level of scrutiny due to her fame. Whereas regular women such as myself would be vilified for openly parading relationships with different men and branded a hoe.

screenshot_20200112-183427_instagram2363299858718811342.jpg — Source: Lori Harvey Instagram

Since the dawn of time women have been forced to create a perfect image not only physically but also to limit themselves sexually in order to capture the attention of men. This is not just for the nesting rewards, but also as a stroke to their ego for being one of the very few who have conquered the mountain dubbing her worthy for marriage. These are not specifications that are reciprocated, it has always been reasonable for men to be flawed during their younger years as they require time to grow and learn the world for themselves which could include them accumulating high numbers of sexual partners without a blemish to their likeness from female suitors.

This comment off lead me to believe that the standards for how women should conduct themselves continually fluctuate depending on the individual, meaning that this idea of the perfect or worthy woman never existed. I have been ranting and raving within a number of debates with friends and randoms about this concept and my views have been ousted by many including women who have been stuck in this paradox of being highly desirable to men that they have followed these unwritten rules to a tee, or concealed specific information to keep the appeal. I was always taught to carry myself with distinction in all ways, a lesson that my mother taught me not to fit in or allure others but for my own identity and growth so the decisions I made for myself as a woman growing up in this world was for nothing else but personal development. I remember back in the summer of 2019 when Lori began to hit the blogs for her escapades with different men, she was berated by males for serial dating. These are now some of the same men who are giving her a pass and praising her as a great woman within her relationship with serial baby father and lothario Future.

The world has changed drastically within the last couple of decades and social entities have shifted, so what may have considered unacceptable to the public is now widely received. Women have a completely different position in this world, and while I would never encourage another woman to find her worth by exploring her body with a vast amount of different people I would always advise that the decisions you are making make you feel comfortable not to please a man who has no idea what they are looking for themselves. Moral of the story is, Ladies don’t hold yourself to the standards of another, because you never know your MCM might end up dating the most sexually liberated girl on the timeline you were condemning before your eyes.

Diary OF a Lost Soul

Be Your Own Spirit Animal

13 Oct 2019 No Comments

Throughout our lives, we are privileged to experience inspiration. At any given moment we can spontaneously be influenced by something we have seen or by someone we might know or follow, and when an individual is inspired by something it is usually superseded by empowerment which motivates them to reach out for their own goals and aspirations.

The term ‘Spirit Animal originally derived from Native Americans as an animal who chooses you, or you choose it for guidance & learning to help you throughout life. 21st-century millennials have remixed this ideology to fit with the current pop-culture, labelling the phrase as a person or character that represents your inner personality. Or someone who behaves as though they are showing your feelings through their own actions. Within the context of the most current understanding, a spirit animal can be anyone that a person may idolise or admire such as a family member, a friend, a celebrity, even a public figure. But I feel that there is a massive difference between admiration of one’s accomplishments and attempting to imitate another person’s lifestyle or journey.

unknown celebrity wearing black dress carrying black leather bag — Photo by Redrecords ©️ on Pexels.com

I have my very own spirit Goddess and she is nothing short of the amazing Mrs Carter, I respect Beyoncé because she is a boss, she is strong, and she consistently pushes boundaries to be the best and that is exactly what I aspire to be. But despite this, I am highly aware that I will never be Queen Bey for many reasons, as motivating as her path to greatness is she and I are completely different people and I sleep with ease being content with this. (p.s running on a treadmill while singing your guts off seems way too hard). But I have noticed that society tends to focus so much on the success of others that it can give off the impression that we have to follow one particular method to be successful and live a luxurious life.

For example, as a lifestyle blogger, my main aim is to conquer the internet with my posts full of wit, sass and life truths. Before I started the site, I was full of doubt because the web is crowded with other personalities of a stature similar to mine and it sometimes appears that other bloggers just blew up overnight. Whereas my blog as great as I feel my content is struggling to reach the right platforms. In the first year, I read copious articles researching on how to grow my following and the kinds of posts I would need to write to achieve that expectancy and none of these techniques has worked for my site to date. After I trashed myself for about an hour or so losing all faith in my hopes and dreams, I gained some clarity and realised that even though our goals might be identical to others within our field all of our pathways to said target will be very different, and the same model does not work for everyone.

woman lying on man s lap — Photo by Ali Müftüoğulları on Pexels.com

Sometimes I sit back and think what happened to embracing our own destiny? Why do we always attempt to manifest our purpose using another person’s blueprint? Now do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with using lessons and motivation from others to assist in guiding you towards your own merits, but sometimes it is as if watching other people’s success has blinded us from our own journeys. So when our lives do not amount to the triumph of another’s we become distressed or feel like failures. Sites like Youtube has built spaces for creatives to share their talents worldwide and whilst this has been a viable tool it has forced people into thinking that following the challenges/pranks/story-telling approach is sure to gain instant fame and fast money.

The struggle to identify our own values is what causes us to admire the worth of our neighbours, the reality of it is that we were all brought in to this world to succeed one way or another, and the way to win it all is to continue to work within our own purpose with the gifts we have been granted. We all have differences so we should use them, despite it being shunned by society the world is deeply desperate for variety of opinion, mindset and ideas so don’t feel conforming to the social norms is the key to giving you your hearts desires.

So believe in yourself, admire what you have been given and use that to motivate yourself. But most of all be your own damn spirit animal!

Diary OF a Lost Soul

The Perfect Lie

7 Oct 2018 No Comments

Source: Gentle Touch Plastic Surgery

Social media is what I like to call a gift and a curse, on one hand, it is a smart networking and marketing tool. On the other hand, it is the smart networking and marketing tool. Still confused, me too but as we already know the apps allow us to use snapshots and short videos to promote ourselves, businesses, lifestyles to an array of different individuals in cities across the globe that have nothing to go off about us but the profile of our best bits.

Between food porn and latest dance craze videos, one of the most popular types of pictures on social media is those of Influencers and Models. It’s like you cannot get through a feed without being bombarded with images of scantily clad women captioned with some sort of motivational quote.

Disclaimer, this is not a post bashing Influencers or Models because as a Blogger my duties often cross over into both world’s, and they do serve as role models for many people for various reasons. But sites such as Instagram are a breeding ground for creating falsehoods, with Commercial and Fitness models inundating the site with their profiles and generating myths on how to get the perfect bod, but tactfully leaving out the fact that their passport has a mysterious stamp from Turkey with no trace of the visit on their page.

Source: Cruise Plastic Surgery

At the moment plastic surgery is all the rage in this new era. It is difficult to come across anyone who has not had a nip, tuck or prick anywhere to enhance or even change their physical attributes completely. From Brazilian buttlifts to Dermal Fillers it is as easy to come by as visiting your local corner shop for your favourite pack of sweets.

One thing that has not changed is the individuals undergoing such procedures being open and honest about it instead of claiming that fitness and great health choices gave them the body of their dreams. For instance, Nakita Johnson well-known Youtuber, Model, and Actress came under fire this week after she was complimented by a follower about her physical appearance and asked who the surgeon was that helped her reach her desired state. Nakita denied any augmentations and gave all of her praises to family traits and God. This appeared to enrage her followers who dispelled her ideas of being a natural beauty and begun to drop pictures of her before she had surgery to verify that this was not just normal changes.

I caught onto all this drama so late that Nakita had begun to recant her tweets and I was unable to see her responses, but by the looks of the remaining comments from other users she didn’t appear to let the comments go over her head. I am far from a fan of body shaming so I frown upon putting another person down for their presentation, but the long and short of it all is that her body as stunning as it is, is not a result of just great genes and the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit taking control of your livelihood.

Nakita’s approach to the situation was similar to that of a few others who have been called out. Between the Jenners, the Kardashians and a bunch of other models who are considered to have “the perfect body” the common theme includes convincing the public that drastic differences in their looks are the result of a great makeup artist, going to the gym or the worst myth of them all drinking enough liters of water just short of drowning yourself.

If you are anything like me then some of you reading this post have succumbed to the body image demons and have indulged in a fad or 2. From Flat Tummy Tea to Appetite suppressants (for me it was the waist trainers) people across the globe have bought into unrealistic health trends because they have been promoted by a person who has falsified accounts of it being the number 1 method for their physique.

Due to science and technology moving on so fast it becomes increasingly harder to detect whether someone has had any enhancements. With some procedures only needing short recovery times, you can be in the chair and out within a matter of hours without anyone having a clue that you have been tweaked.

With Plastic Surgery being at its height at the moment, with more and more men and women admitting to going under the knife to make some changes it appears to be a much more acceptable amongst millennials. So I think we can all agree that we are a lot less likely to be bothered by someone choosing surgery to make alterations.

With all this being said the reality of the situation is that we should not be so easily led. It is a part of an influencers job to use photos to emulate the perfect life, friends and looks so we should expect for them to do this without a blemish. I think with the current state of the beauty standards perfectionism will always be a unique selling point and we can admire there state but also notice the differences in our structures. We as a community should stop believing and reinforcing these testimonials and idiot guides to the perfect bod because they are highly unattainable without a cost and not their faith, consistency and hard work that paid off, but the skilfull work of a Surgeon.

Lastly a message to all the influencers out there, just tell us you saw Dr. Miami so we can stop getting IBS from Boo Tea👍