Feelings Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Diary of a Lost Soul

We Know, Women Are Trash Too!

21 Mar 2018 No Comments

Source: Complex

I promise you if I hear about or see one more dude cry over another story from social media about a conniving female who has been caught out for cheating I am going to lose every one of my God given Marbles.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not condone cheating at all it is definitely completely wrong under all circumstances. And I am of the sound understanding that if you feel like you aren’t getting what you need from your relationship be it reasonable or just damn right weird you should either discuss it with your partner or end the union. But as a woman growing and beginning to relate to the world I have been lied to, cheated on and just all out disrespected by the opposite sex in ways that should really put me off dating for the rest of my life and stewing in my celibacy.

Okay by now you guys have grasped that I am a drama Queen, but the point I am making is that these experiences have surely made me apprehensive about taking men as seriously as they would like me too.

As of late, I have noticed that men outing women for their infidelities has become a very public and common trend on social media platforms such as Twitter and Instagram. Men have been coming out in what appears to be the droves of acts of solidarity exposing women who have been caught in the act with another man or woman. Now, I repeat I do not agree with scandals such as cheating but this is something that has been happening to women around me and all over the world for as long as I can remember, and whenever I have witnessed it being discussed from our point of view it is ridiculed or palmed off as some twisted right of passage. As if the only thing to do in these situations is to dust yourself off and get back in the game otherwise your ovaries will dry all the way up searching for that perfect man that will never exist. So I am struggling to understand why it should be only be classified as Satans handiwork when it happens to men.

Every time I pose situations such as this to males in my company I often get given the same spiel explaining how different it is for them, how disrespected they feel by the women who deceive them because some of these men really look after the lady in question. They buy them expensive gifts and let them know that the bond that they have differs to that of any other woman and it ends in them feeling exploited.

But what I wanna know is, were you feeling this same level of betrayal when you went out on a lads night and watched your best friend take that girl’s number? Will you keep that same energy when you are bantering in the group chat about how many times you had sexual relations with the local bicycle from around the way and your long-term girlfriend still stays loyal?

Unfortunately, men and women are judged by differing standards in life. Clearly, it is acceptable in societies eyes for a young man growing up to sow his royal oats in as many pastures as he possibly can, whereas to a young woman heartbreak and consistent rebuilding of yourself from the damage caused is created to make you stronger. Plus do it in silence because it is a complete annoyance to hear you all loudly waiting to exhale all over the timeline.

Cheating is a form of disloyalty and dishonesty and any gender is susceptible to being treated with this level of betrayal. Life will throw things at you that a manual has never been written about and tell you to handle it, and everyone has a damn right to be pissed about it. But one person’s pain does not trump another, we should all be exempt from having to constantly combat this pain because respect should be renowned especially when building a relationship.

Karma is a terrible thing that strikes when you least expect it, so we should all be treating others how we feel we would deserve. And I know it appears to some as brotherly to support your homeboy when his girl raises the alarm again about that female that persistently likes all his Instagram posts within a 10-minute time frame. But at the end of the day wouldn’t you want someone to be checked by a nearest and dearest if the shoe was on the other foot.

What I am saying is do unto others as you would have them do unto you, because you never know when it is your turn to be the next cheating scandal on the timeline. My advice; listen to Drake, build a bridge and get over it… quietly😁

Diary OF a Lost Soul

I DO NOT Work Through My Lunch Break!!!

18 Mar 2018 6 Comments

I like most people in their mid to late twenties am currently working a painstakingly stressful and time-consuming 9-5. Probably one that you hate or even one that you could love but you just aren’t in the position you desire as of yet. But either way, you are way past tired.

If you agree with the paragraph just above then you might once again just like I, look forward to 2 integral times of the day. Of course the long-awaited home time and ever the important midpoint of the day, your lunch break.

My lunch break is extremely sacred to me, I use those very brief 30 minutes to stuff my face, unwind, make social calls, even just aimlessly scroll through Instagram. Basically, it is my personal time to do whatever it is I want to do and to escape the weight of concrete jungle. When building a career us twenty-somethings are given the impression that in order to succeed we must mercilessly grind, give up whatever we deem precious in order to climb the ladder and fight for our dreams. So working lunches are often posed to us as a great idea to kill two birds with one stone, to the detriment of having a little pocket of time to regroup and resume the rest of your day with your sanity intact.

When I started my first real job I was that ever keen nodding employee that wouldn’t flinch at the sound of a 12pm-1pm meeting. I wanted to appear flexible, hardworking (well I put it on my CV so I had to prove it). But I was determined to show all the big wigs that I was the employee to remember. 5 years in the game and a couple of positions later, that was probably the biggest of all the mistakes I have made. Okay I am a drama queen but that is my free time and I realised that it started to become expected of me to surrender it whenever unforeseen affairs would arise. I don’t know about anyone else but I for sure did not sign up to work for Oxfam so charity work was definitely not in my contract, or in my sights. But aside from that if you give up your spare time, when do you get a chance to recharge?

I now vehemently refuse to be a martyr and renounce my only time of solace to give the impression that I am a worthy employee. Most of the time this self-less act is overlooked by managers and later on can be assumed as routine breaking down all of your personal boundaries and taking along with it the last portion you have left of your mental health. If a survey was done in any working environment the number one preceding factor would likely be that workers feel stressed and overworked, some of it is due to our environment but I believe that the majority of it is due to the unwritten rules to succeed.

Work can be a very exasperating environment. You can be stuck indoors for hours on end only leaving your desk to use the toilet, be inundated with emails overloaded with tasks that seem never-ending, or forced to laugh at humdrum jokes told by that co-worker you have always disliked but must keep up appearances. So forfeiting your lunch break when constantly having to fight those battles should be illegal, there is no contract written for any organisation that deems it crucial for any employee to utilise their unpaid lunchtime to continue working. There is no trophy awarded for the worker who sacrifices the most amount of hours of their personal time and dedicates it to their company. And there are definitely various different ways to demonstrate your commitment to a role, such as completing your duties, showing the array of skills and attributes you have and not to forget your professionalism.

Bottom line is don’t feel the need to give away what you need to sort a temporary issue, tomorrow take a walk or actually sit in the staff room to eat your lunch for once instead of using your desk. Just have some YOU time I am pretty sure if you’re reading this and wildly nodding at the points made in this post you deserve it.

Diary OF a Lost Soul

Guidance From a Bruised Soul

14 Mar 2018 No Comments

If there is anything that I have learned from the last few months, is that life will throw millions of curve balls at you and you can either make every attempt to try and catch them all or get pelted like a bad comedy act.

I have always been told and have at times taken a good look in the mirror and repeated “damn girl you are strong”, but some things that happen in your life will really hit you in ways that can make drastic changes to the way you think and feel about yourself and what you’re even doing with your life.

I was always confident that I had a strong hold on my future, and after losing my Grandfather who was very dear to me and my family at the end of 2017 I was uberly optimistic about 2018 commencing. I did all the work, I was positive and what I had planned for the year was to be nothing shy of greatness. 30 days into the first month I was struck with another bout of devastation when my 4-year relationship came to an abrupt and shocking end leaving me stunned, confused and pessimistic about all the things I had put in place to happen for me.

I felt as if the reality that had been created for me was a terrible joke all at my expense. These 2 life-changing events left me in a dark place that I had always heard of but was sure that someone of my demeanor was unable to reach. I mean I could achieve anything I wanted, I truly exuded the definition of hard work so how could my whole world be falling down right in front of my eyes. If you are an avid follower of my blog I rarely admire my physical appearance but it is something that I live with and overall I am happy with myself. But after everything that had happened, I struggled to look at myself in the mirror often internally thinking horrible thoughts about the person I had painstakingly taken 28 years to love. I would get dressed up to the nines for an event and still pull myself to pieces. I hated myself, I felt so low that I stopped taking my friends calls because explaining all of the negative events that had happened felt like reliving it all over again and plus how does one feel their best when discussing their failures.

Whilst sitting in my cave at home in deep hiding I began to think about all the things that my elders had taught me, my mum always gave me the notion that if I work hard I will be able to reap all the benefits later on in life. No shade momma, I love ya but that was the biggest misconception of all time. We do not control this life, we own it but we have no clue on what adventures it will take us on.

Someone once told me that when people make plans God laughs, and remembering this quote is what pulled me out of my bubble of despair because we cannot see where we are going so how can we expect for our future to be executed exactly the way we dream it. Now, young budding representatives of the future do not look at this and think that I am telling you to throw all your vision boards and goals in the trash and dance like the wind. But do better than I did and accept that although we may have control over our destiny we do not have authority over what route it takes us on to get there. That course can be smooth sailing like a beautiful cruise to the Caribbean or it can be rough and choppy like a Robinson Crusoe inspired trek, but that journey is a vital part of your story.

Through all this pain and angst, I am now letting my toughest experiences be my best lessons and take my finger off the control freak button. Go with the flow a lil and not let anything knock me off my hustle, what doesn’t kill me can only make me stronger.

So do not get all stuck up in planning your whole lives to a tee, life is full of exciting twists and turns and when we focus on being control freaks we fail to see the lessons that our plunders and faux pas are created to teach us.

Remember, falling on your face is not the issue. it is how long it takes you to get back up.

With love, tears and big bottle of rum

Rea😘

Diary OF a Lost Soul

Inspiration For a New Year

3 Jan 2018 No Comments

It has come to that old fateful time where most people begin to reflect on all of their achievements and transgressions of the last year with deep scrutiny, analyse them and vow to never become their former shell ever again. Unfortunately guys I am one of those sentimental individuals who reaches the start of a new year, and is strongly driven to make this year better than the last. But hear me out before ya’ll condemn me to the kingdom of corniness for eternity. My reason for doing it serves more of a motivational purpose than to create wildly unrealistic and unachievable goals. I refuse to put pressure on myself to appear wise and well thought out when really I get to the end of the year and thinking ” homegirl, what have you actually done”.

I devise what I would like to dub standards to shape ideas for what I should be adhering over the upcoming year. And if they don’t go exactly to plan than hey better luck next year boo.

So if you follow me on Instagram you will know that I brought in the new year vision boarding because I am a visual learner and some of the ideas I came up with were;

Continue with the glo-up of Cheap Clothes 4 Heauxs

I have been a blogger for almost 2 years, and although the progress has not been exactly what I thought it would be when I initially birthed my brain child. In 2017 I was really able to see the beginnings of the growth of my brand, when I was in the planning stages of starting the blog I low-key believed that it could blow-up overnight. And when it didn’t I was high-key disheartened and questioned it’s purpose. But looking back I have enjoyed every high and low of the process, and every part of it has been a a major key to teaching me everything I need to know to make the blog a million times better than it was last year.

Travel More

The best Instagram pictures are taken abroad and I am well deserving of my profile getting a boost. Okay, I joke but I really want to expand on the Robinson Crusoe that lives deep within me and get to different parts of the world. I have visited many countries in my life, but there is still so much that I have not seen… And it the photos will look amazing, but you can’t judge me I am a creative😋

Me time

I am a part-time blogger with a full-time job as my loyal followers are aware, so I feel as though I spend forever and a day working. Where my part-time role is one of my deepest loves Rea’s system can sometimes reach overload and even her better than Duracell batteries need a recharge, so I need to take time to look after my needs. Plus it will give me the opportunity to tick some things off my ever dusty bucket list, maybe learn a new skill or rebuild pastures with an old hobby.

Be in control of my health

Within the last couple of years I have felt that the social media has really played a huge part in showing us the deficits of the nations health and in particular the state of our food. So at the tail end of last year I began the transition into becoming a Vegan based on what I have learnt about our bodies and the effects poor eating habits can have on us, through this I have reignited my taste for exercise and I am aiming to get in tip top shape this year.

Exude confidence

We might aswell call this the confession hour because I am about to get real, I have battled with my physical appearance for most of my life. I can consistently feel confident in my ability to slay because I am your resident clothes horse, but to really look at myself and say “Serea you look beautiful” is a real ass struggle for me. So this year I am going to attempt to be more confident in what the good Lord gave me and praise my physical appearance a lot more.

Thank you to all of my followers, 2017 truly was my year of growth and I really have all of you to thank for it. I hope ya’ll are feeling as enthuasiastic as I am about the start of a new year. Stick around ya girl to be a part of all the antics I’ll be bringing to 2018.

Happy New Year

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