If there is anything I have learned this year is to trust in myself.
I am wise
I am intuitive
I always know the difference but what I want and what is good for me
Sounds like a cheesy set of affirmations but all have been quietly true, although I will always consider myself to be a student of life, for way too long I have allowed myself to take a backseat to the quality of what I have learned along the way.
Naive Rea gave other people complete control over her life because she always assumed herself to be the novice not knowing that the majority of us are using the trial and error method to navigate through the uncertainty.
When I think about it, I am always the only person who has had my back and been able to find a way in the dark. Although I have had some aids, not everyone has the best intentions. I feel like humans are just selfish beings, consistently pleasure-seeking and refusing to understand when one keeps making demands it is often at the detriment of another person and you could be depleting the reserves that keep their head above water.
Not everyone deserves the position in your life they desire. Consequences can have some very harsh actions and that could mean their subscription to your life being cancelled, It’s always give them or break or they have learned their lesson but have they really? do they really know the pain they caused you and how it coloured your heart in such a dark shade that no matter how much light is added it will never glimmer as bright as it once did? The one person who has all of that information is you, and only you can make the best decision for your future.
I have stopped putting all my trust in others to show me the way and started allowing myself to be the chief navigator of my life. One of my favourite sayings has been “The only thing you can guarantee about people is they will let you down”. That used to come from a very morbid place, but now I understand that with very little fault people are just trying to survive and live out their dreams to the best of their ability and that will always be first over anything.
We always talk about a new year being our year but then use it to push others towards their destinies under the guise of them helping us win. I won’t be doing that next year, if I am doing something I will have a guarantee that it will benefit me as way too much time has been spent serving another’s purpose whilst mine aimlessly blows in the wind.
