Breaking Free From “Someday” Syndrome

I am a Cafe Nero junky who jumps at the chance to saunter into a branch and order my favourite beverage (a Chai Latte with coconut milk if you are asking). But as we know, the current economic state is providing the majority of us many reasons to file our tiny luxuries into the “someday” box to achieve the bigger goals closer to the end of the tunnel. It got me thinking about how this mindset is feeding into the misery that plagues the land.

We all have that nagging voice in our heads. The one that whispers, “You don’t deserve this,” or “You should save that for a special occasion.”  It’s a voice born from scarcity, a ghost of past struggles that lingers even when the present reality has shifted. For those of us who grew up in lower socioeconomic communities, the concept of saving something nice for a special occasion was particularly persistent.

My childhood was one that meant I didn’t go hungry. But it was not one of regular high street shopping sprees or fine dining. More like a tapestry woven with threads of “make-do” and “go without.” Every penny was meticulously accounted for, every treat a rare indulgence. Joy was often deferred, a distant prize promised for a future of stability.  “Finish school,” they’d say, “then the world is your oyster.”  “Get that promotion,” they’d advise, “then you can live anywhere in the world without a care.”  The message was clear: happiness was a reward for delayed gratification, a luxury reserved for a more prosperous tomorrow.

This mindset, while understandable, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We learn to associate pleasure with deprivation, to equate enjoyment with guilt. We hoard experiences, saving them for a mythical time that may never come. We forget that life, in all its messy, unpredictable glory, is happening now.

We never know when the hands of time will change. Illness, injury, unexpected life events – they can shatter our plans in an instant. That dream vacation we’ve been saving for? It might become impossible. That special someone we’ve been waiting to share our passions with? They might be gone tomorrow.
We say it all the time waking up tomorrow isn’t promised, but do we live by it?  And while it’s important to be responsible and plan for the future, it’s equally crucial to savour the present. To relish the sweetness of life’s offerings now, not as a distant reward, but as a testament to our hard work, our growth, and our right to happiness.

This doesn’t mean reckless abandon, of course. It’s about finding a balance. It’s about recognising your worth and understanding that you deserve joy, now. Allowing yourself to experience the fruits of your labour, to celebrate milestones big and small.
For me, this has meant a gradual shift in perspective. It’s meant learning to say “yes” to experiences that bring me joy, even if they don’t fit neatly into a pre-conceived plan. It’s meant treating myself with kindness and compassion, recognising that self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity.
It’s meant indulging in a fancy coffee without guilt, taking that weekend getaway, and splurging on something that speaks to my soul. It’s meant learning to appreciate the beauty of a simple sunset, the warmth of a loved one’s embrace, the quiet joy of a well-loved book.

This journey of self-discovery is an ongoing,  constant negotiation between the voice of scarcity and the voice of abundance. It’s a reminder that true wealth extends beyond financial security. There is high importance in cultivating a rich inner life, filled with gratitude, joy, and a deep appreciation for the present moment.

Remember, this is not about consumerism or materialism. It’s about honouring your needs, nurturing your soul, and creating a life filled with meaning and joy. It’s about recognizing that you are worthy of happiness, right here, right now.

So, I invite you to join me on this journey. Let’s shed the shackles of scarcity and embrace the abundance that awaits. Let’s savour the sweetness of life, not as a distant reward, but as a daily practice. Let’s learn to live fully, to love deeply, and to experience the joy that life has to offer, every single day.

Hopefully this helps you decide on whether you buy that fancy coffee or boil the kettle.