These Days, My Vibe Comes At A Cost

For a long time, I struggled with my identity. I’ve always been that extremely happy girl dreaming of sunshine and daisies, but the world hasn’t always reflected that back to me. Scratch that, most times my happy-go-lucky mixed with the “tell it as we see it” vibe has only been flavor of the month when it agrees with another’s rhetoric.

I’m that girl everyone wants on their defense team, the one who’ll stand up for what’s right, offer a listening ear, and bring a much-needed dose of optimism. But when it’s their turn to do the listening, to offer the same understanding or support, everything changes. The energy I freely give often isn’t reciprocated, and I’m left feeling drained and, frankly, a little used. It’s got me thinking: it’s about time I started putting a cost on my energy.

Now, I’m not talking about charging my friends for a coffee catch up, or sending an invoice for a heart-to-heart. This isn’t about monetary value. It’s about recognising the immense value of my emotional, mental, and physical energy and protecting it fiercely.
For years, I believed that being constantly available, relentlessly positive, and always ready to jump in was just “who I am.” And while those are indeed parts of me I cherish, I’ve realised there’s a fine line between generosity and self-neglect. When your unique brand of sunshine is only appreciated when it aligns with someone else’s agenda, it’s not genuine appreciation; it’s convenience.
So, i guess you’re asking, what does it mean to “put a cost” on one’s energy?

Setting Boundaries, Not Building Walls

It’s important to set clear boundaries. This isn’t about building walls around myself, but rather creating healthy barriers that protect my peace. It means saying no when my plate is full, even if it means disappointing someone. It means declining invitations that don’t genuinely excite me, opting for quiet evenings that replenish my spirit instead.

Valuing My Voice (Even When It’s Unpopular)

I am starting to recognise that my “tell it as we see it” nature is a strength, not a flaw. I’ve often toned down my honest opinions or unique perspectives to avoid rocking the boat, especially when I sensed they might not be popular. But my voice, my authentic self, is valuable precisely because it’s mine. If someone only wants to hear what agrees with them, then perhaps they’re not truly interested in a genuine connection.

Investing in Reciprocal Relationships

Nowadays I focus on relationships where the energy flows both ways. Where listening is a two-way street, where support is freely offered and received, and where my happiness isn’t contingent on someone else’s approval. These are the relationships that nourish me, rather than deplete me.

The Price of Authenticity

Ultimately, putting a “cost” on my energy is about choosing authenticity over popular appeal. It’s about understanding that my happy-go-lucky, keep it extremely real vibe is a gift, and like any valuable gift, it deserves to be treated with respect. If that means some people find my “flavour” less appealing when it doesn’t serve their immediate needs, then so be it. The price of dimming my own light to fit into someone else’s narrative is far too high for me to gamble with.

This journey of redefining my worth and valuing my energy is ongoing. It’s not always easy, and there are still moments when I slip back into old habits. But with every boundary set, every authentic conversation had, and every moment of self-care prioritised. I’m reminding myself that my vibe, and ultimately the core essence of me isn’t something to be taken for granted. It’s a precious resource, and it’s time I started treating it that way. I now understand that energy is equal to a financial commodity so start charging people, plus tax.

How do you protect your energy in a world that often demands so much of it? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!