Love Archives - Diary of a Lost Soul

Life Lessons From My Long Distance Love – The Gift I Never Saw Coming

26 Feb 2024 1 Comment

serious black student writing essay in notebook in park

Old habits die hard, so it has been difficult for me to accept this new chapter in my life. But last year I took my biggest leap of faith deciding to enter into a long-distance relationship. I am probably the most cautious person you will ever meet so it is completely unlike me to go against the grain in this way. Nevertheless, as I have said many times in previous posts for me to prosper things have to change. And I think I have done it in one of the most drastic ways.

As many 90-day fiance episodes I consumed I never saw myself opting for transatlantic love. I always quietly wanted a love that ran deeper than the ocean, with very little hassle and was within UK grounds. The cultural differences, barriers and financial implications that are major themes of the show never appealed to me, as the obstacles that are involved with love are hard enough to navigate. Saying this being thousands of miles apart from my boyfriend has had its strong positives, it has helped me learn things about the world that were long-time unanswered questions. Here are some key lessons I’ve learned along the way:

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Patience: An Unwavering Virtue

I hate waiting long periods for anything, as a Londoner that is even shorter as waiting more than 2 minutes for a train on the underground is considered grounds for a serious complaint. Being in a relationship means you are working with another person’s schedule and that can personally be one of the most frustrating things as they never manage to achieve it to my timely standard. My boyfriend is probably one of the calmest people I have ever met which at times makes him a lot slower than me to do things. As annoying as this can be, it serves as one of his most admirable qualities which makes me more mindful about when and how I approach situations. Taking my time to react or make a decision helps me manage my expectations and find joy in the little things.

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Understanding Differences: Embracing the Tapestry of Culture

Although my partner and I originate from the same cultural background. Being a British citizen adds a whole new layer to our relationship. Despite speaking the same language, our customs often differ which can cause tension. I have always considered communication to be the key to success. Still, I can admit not being provided the right tools earlier on in life doesn’t always make me the perfect listener when situations are heightened. In a long-distance relationship, most of the time communication is all you have, but when you are talking from different positions it can put a strain on the union. Embracing these differences has been an enriching experience. We’ve learned to appreciate how our unique perspectives broaden our understanding of the world. It’s a constant learning process that keeps things interesting and supports working me with others in various environments.

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Trusting Your Heart: A Compass in Uncertain Seas

I have a fearful/avoidant attachment style, meaning that even though I desire closeness from others I am afraid of it not being reciprocated. So choose distance to protect myself. This has made me look at life in a more logical way ignoring the thoughts of my heart when making decisions. Throughout the time I have been in this relationship I have noticed the response of my heart becoming louder, where I could usually put the feeling to bed began showing up overtly (ps crying at the airport was not on my bucket list). Even though no relationship is perfect, this is showing me that my heart is capable of making great judgements. I am currently happy and creating this overseas bond has shown me how far believing in my abilities, and never counting myself out can take me. This newfound self-reliance has been empowering and has strengthened the foundation of trust within all of my relationships.

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Forgiveness: Not a Sign of Weakness

Forgiving but never forgetting has always been my motto, I used to think that you were the weakest link if you gave another person the opportunity to repeat an offence against you. Although that made me feel like my heart was safe and secure, the reality is I was putting unnecessary distance between me and what I truly wanted. We all have imperfections, learning to forgive, both myself and my partner, has been essential for maintaining harmony and encouraging positive self-talk. I now recognise that forgiveness isn’t about condoning mistakes, but about understanding and moving forward stronger, which has been a valuable life lesson.

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Independence: Saving Myself From Heartache

Being a witness to tumultuous relationships turned me off wanting to put my all into something that statistics would say is guaranteed to end in chaos. My hyper-independence is a security measure created to protect me not only from being hurt. But also to avoid hindrance from achieving my life goals. When getting married the bible talks about the strength of a 3 strand cord. I prefer the “two heads are better than one” concept but it was something that I have struggled to actualise. The distance doesn’t always allow my boyfriend to do everything I would like. However, whenever he takes the load of a weight I have been carrying be that by finding a solution to a long-standing problem, or intently listening to an emotional burden. It provides a reason as to why some things are that much better when there are 2 people in it together.

Long-distance relationships are not for the faint-hearted. But the lessons they offer are invaluable. Through patience, open communication, and embracing unique challenges, they can blossom into extraordinary journeys of growth and connection. Not only do they provide the possibility of building an impenetrable bond for you and your significant other. Furthermore allowing you to personally develop in ways you didn’t think were possible. Especially when you are doing it with the right one.

Diary OF a Lost Soul

Getting Back to Love

8 Oct 2023 3 Comments

I think I may have said this before, but ending my last relationship is placed up there with one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Not because of the love left between us, but because I felt like a big failure. I haven’t always been surrounded by the most uplifting sentiments in my formative years so that only further perpetuated the negative self-talk swirling around the world’s most jam-packed brain on earth.

During my time alone, I made the decision that I wanted to be alone for a WHILE! I got myself a Counsellor and told her I was done with love, all Knights in Shining Armour and Prince Charming’s need not apply because even the enchanted glass slipper itself couldn’t save the helpless tale called my love life. The saddest part of it was that I truly believed that there was no one on earth despite the majority of the countries in the world being overpopulated. For me, I felt broken beyond repair and not to mention at every turn there was an example of a failed relationship that gave me more ammunition because if they couldn’t do it what made me any different?

The other night I had to have a difficult conversation with someone I was close with about boundaries. If you know me well I do not enjoy this topic for various reasons:

It is the most cringe-worthy conversation known to man
People often don’t care and are focused on their own needs
The dialogue is usually filled with defence of their behaviour instead of hearing you out

I obviously left that conversation with a bitter taste in my mouth, but the anxiety alone put me back into rumination over my inability to hold a relationship together. I did the right thing and took to my journal and I came to a realisation that this burden wasn’t mine to carry alone as any relationship involves a minimum of 2 people who would equally have a hand in helping it last as well as the dissolution of it. At the start of this, I decided that I had to do things differently. I wasn’t sure what those things were, but I knew if I wanted to indulge in the greatness that is love I needed to exchange everything I thought I knew and embrace companionship with a fresh set of eyes. 10 months into the year and the deep reflection has been provoking to say the least, some of the intentions I am speaking into my next experience are;

Get out of the echo chamber: I have spent a lot of my time this year speaking about my love life with people who have been in relationships that have stood the test of time. As much as I like to think as a single woman experienced in relationships, the advice I give is only based on a very low level of commitment. Speaking to people who don’t have a get-out-of-jail-free card due to the level of investment involved has made me consider relationship resilience differently and review my approach differently when working with others.

Let go of the past: I have not been given the best examples of positive working relationships, and it is easy to take the stance that all of them end up in hell. But the reality is that is not the only result. Yes, they will be hard, but they can have a string of rewards. If you keep holding on to the ghost of Christmas past, you may be missing out on the bright future ahead of you.

Release expectations: One of the sayings that is a guiding principle stopping me from tanking every relationship dynamic I am involved in, is that the one thing that is consistent about people is they will let you down. This isn’t a personal thing, we are all different and have to make the choices that best suit us and sometimes that can go against what we want. If we put too much faith in people making certain decisions we will always end up disappointed, so allow people to make mistakes or choose not to listen to what you advise. As long as the respect is in place it demonstrates they are making an effort to work with you.

Have fun: At the ripe old age of 34, I would love to have the white picket fence and children running towards me with glee upon returning from a hard day’s work. Unfortunately, my life has not reached that chapter yet and honestly I am okay with that. So the thought of meeting someone and making that the focus of the bond I feel takes away from the enjoyment of getting to know someone. Although pressure can make diamonds it is a very tricky process. And when applied to the wrong stone it won’t become a shining gem but possibly disintegrate.

I have learned that love is a beautiful thing and there isn’t one right way to do it. Relationships can last forever or just for a few seasons. Despite all the difficult times and anguish, the opportunity to feel and grow through love provides lifelong lessons that can help you pass on in other situations. And as corny as it sounds remember to live, laugh, and love ❤️

Diary OF a Lost Soul

Cry, Journal, Pray

10 Jul 2022 3 Comments

Looking back, but moving forward has been the motto ever since I restarted blogging this year because self-reflection is a vital tool to help us improve our lives, rumination over experiences or feelings may leave us more stagnant than a local London pond and we all know Rea ain’t got time for that!

As I shared in my last post, comments about me having a special anointing that gives me superhero levels of immunity to the stresses and strains life hands out are heavily refuted because for as long as I can remember I could never say that I have had an easy life so struggle and setbacks have been something I have more than a clear understanding of. Across the world, we were all united by the experience of the great lockdown of 2020. Like everyone else, I too planned a fruitful year that would challenge all those before it. But as 1 year of the crisis quickly turned to 2 I started looking up at God and just checking to see if this is the plan he had laid out for me.

I probably experienced one of my biggest depressive bouts during this time, not only because I felt I couldn’t fight the caged animal scenario playing out before my eyes. But because I felt like some of the most valuable years of my life were dwindling and I was powerless against it. During these days of darkness I developed a process that I still use today as a tool to help me get back on my feet: Cry, Journal, Pray.

Cry

As a black woman who now holds a professional position of power, I was taught that I had to be devout of all emotions publically in order to be successful. This is what I would consider a half-truth, as a team needs a leader who has exemplary control and that definitely cannot be demonstrated if they have a meltdown at the thought of a decision needing to be made. However, allowing myself to be vulnerable and cry has probably made me my strongest. This is because it provides me with the ability to release the tension I store in the different spaces of my body due to putting on a brave face for the masses.

I always advise people to schedule in a good cry to let go of those pent-up frustrations. According to Psychology Today, 50% of people feel better after crying whereas only 10% have reported they have felt less well after a despair session. This proves that crying is a response to support, not to make us look like a bag of walking hormonal disruptions.

Journal

When I am most overwhelmed I find it nearly impossible to verbally express myself. It has gotten so unbearable at times that some of my longest commutes to work I have done in silence as the sound of my favourite choons no longer gives me the feels but serves as an annoyance. Journaling has been a comforting technique as the pen has taken over when I have difficulty finding the words to explain where my state of mind has taken me. As an active member of the negative self-talk society, I use my journal to put the ideas that cloud my brain into written format and rid me of anxious and doubtful concepts setting up a war camp in my brain. Putting these on paper allows me to address and validate them. I can then decide whether they need to be actioned or released into the wild so I can focus on the more positive aspects of my life.

Outside of my personal journals I keep locked away in my secret crypt nobody will ever find (insert evil laugh), Diary of a Lost Soul has served as my public digital journal. Sharing my thoughts with you all has been a major part of my healing process. This is especially true when I receive feedback. It is encouraging to know I am not alone in my experiences and that my posts make others feel like they belong in this lonely world.

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Pray

When I was on my Christian walk I found so much solace in talking to God. I would do it in private and that was when I was my most vulnerable sharing things that the closest people to me wouldn’t know I was dealing with. Now that I have taken a more spiritual perspective on life I still pray and it has proven to be a verbal way of letting go of any stressful notions but also supports me in taking a solution-based outlook on the issues I face.

It is always considered that you have to be religious or have a relationship with God in order to pray, the way how I see it prayer is about being thankful or asking for guidance. This is something you can do no matter your beliefs. I am a self-appointed level 14 control freak who spends alot of her day finding ways to avoid her life emulating an epic car crash. Thus, it is a relief to give the universe control over an outcome when I’ve run out of theories or have lost the will to continue.

Trusting the process is a cheesy anecdote but have been words I have ended my most strenuous days in greater stead. Like the legendary Nipsey Hussle said, “Life ain’t a sprint, it’s a marathon”. So permit yourself to set down whatever it is you are battling with and give yourself that well-needed mental break before considering how you might solve it, trust me you will feel better for it.

Diary OF a Lost Soul

The Definition of Love…

21 Feb 2022 No Comments

As a woman whose history is made up of an ever absent father, and a mother who did all she could to provide tangible lessons to make it through this odyssey we call life. It has left me with thoughts about the messages I have been given about love?

Up until about 6 years old, the relationship I had with my father was something you would see in those American movies. Picture a down and out dad, who despite not always having the resources would take his tenacious young daughter on trips in his car singing along to 80’s music she is way too young to know but can surprisingly recite every lyric without missing a beat. Beautiful isn’t it? Unfortunately, this story didn’t end in him getting it together for the sake of his family but disappearing into the darkness leaving a trail of illegitimate children like a poor Hansel & Gretel parody.

I was deeply in love with my Dad. We were always together, he was my protector, made me laugh and played all the games I wanted, essentially he was my first best friend. But he had a side that always confused me. One day he would be endearing and extremely fun to be around. However, in the blink of an eye, he was transformed into this cold fearful person. How could a man this caring have a side so obscure that it made me question if I was seeing the same person?

When he left I experienced my first heartbreak. Reflecting on those moments made me realise that this was something that would change me forever. It quickly removed those rose-tinted glasses I thought were permanently glued to my face and showed me that no matter how good people portray themselves to be, there will always be a moment where their second self will emerge engulfing you in a cloud of black smoke like a perfectly executed scene from a Disney fairy-tale sucking your happiness into an endless vortex pit leaving you asking yourself if the person you thought you knew ever truly existed.

As a teen, I spent my time trying to compensate for the loss of my first great love attempting to find a group of close friends who would support me lovingly exactly what the Spice Girls lied to us about (bitch friendship definitely does not last forever), and when that failed miserably I believed that my partner would be my true supporter. However 5 years later and that hit the deck like a ton of bricks (I must say he does still support me from afar, and I am pretty sure he will read this post so shout out to you). Now I am in a space of not trusting a soul with my heart. I have been given so many examples of how hurtful love can be. The thought of allowing myself to go there all over again makes me want to literally chew away at my own arm until it is a nub then have my heart broken again.

It leaves me to question what exactly is love? My favourite chick flicks have taught me that with a little patience, and a carefully curated wardrobe montage my Prince charming will be around the corner. But life has taught me that it is arduous, painful and only sustainable through hard work on both sides. It leaves me asking what really is the formula? how do these couples either married or long-term cohabitants manage to stay together for the long haul?

So many of us women think we are not worthy of love, or that is supposed to be suffering because the messages on how to love or be loved are extremely conflicting. If we have influences of long-lasting relationships we assume that our future husband will sweep us off our feet in an Instagram worthy picturesque style proposal. And if we have been raised by a single parent we might be focused on how what assets the person has to make the relationship function but not last.

Reading through those options lets me know that either way we are all fucked. But most importantly that no matter what happens there is no formula to love, it happens and it can sweep you off your feet, or it could be more work than you ever envisioned. But overall it is an experience no matter how painful I would do it again, I have realised that despite everything I have experienced I love love. Whether that has been with a family member, friend or romantic partner it feels great to have an open heart instead of constantly pushing people away and living in isolation. Just like in life you have to take risks in order for you to get any return on investment. No, it isn’t always pretty or reminiscent of your favourite love scene on TV. But just like the saying “it is better to have loved than to have never loved at all” I allow myself to revel in the shining moments of those experiences instead of the dismal ones.

Diary OF a Lost Soul

The Journey to Philautia

17 May 2021 1 Comment

Philautia is the ancient Greek word for self-love, it is a term that is often used amongst the millennial culture meaning to tend to your own needs and wellbeing without sacrificing yourself for the pleasure of others. But I struggle to see evidence of how it demonstrated well despite the copious use of bubble baths, and solo trips around the world it makes me wonder do we really love ourselves as much as we say we do?

I think we can all agree that we are probably our worst enemies, no matter what someone can say or do to us we have probably done worse. It doesn’t mean that we despise every living and breathing thing about ourselves but spend a lot of time being self-critical about most of the things we do which builds a very undesirable picture of self. Team that with the distorted and hateful views of society and you get one big ball of self-destruction. The pandemic taught me that I am incredulously mean and disregarding of myself, from pushing myself to the absolute limit career-wise, not to mention the relationship between me and my body, I have heavily supported in turning myself into someone I wouldn’t want to spend time with alone.

As a blogger and avid reader of personal development informed texts, I become enraged when the latest portions encouraging me to love myself are concluded with the concept that taking a bath, regular face masks or booking a spa weekend will make me feel better about myself. I am a hard worker, so to gain some control and balance over my life I would play hard with my besties mainly on the raw streets of Shoreditch on the weekends living my best alcohol filled life, sleeping it off until Monday, then trudging it through a hectic work week all over again. When the earth stood still in the name of a virus, combined with a breakup from a long-term relationship (we will get to this one in another post) I was left with none of my crutches to distract me from the lacklustre life I was leading. The silence was deafening, and it was within those moments that I knew that there was nothing else left to do but tackle those deep dark parts of my mind that I had compartmentalised for so long, and no bubble bath brand had the strength to cure those.

Now, I don’t want to throw shade at anyone who uses any of the above-mentioned methods to take care of themselves as I agree that they serve a purpose. But what I argue is that they don’t truly heal us, it is like putting a plaster over your pain it has very little effect including the fact that we don’t all have the revenue to regularly engage in these activities the minute our mood drops. The biggest part of self-care is the inner work, the things that warm our soul so we feel good from the inside out. It has taken a stint in counselling, implementing food and lifestyle change, journaling and prayer to support the journey to truly show the love to myself I truly deserve. I can’t pinpoint when I jumped on the self-hate train but it really embedded itself within my teen years, and I realised undoing that level of indoctrination worthies more than a few packets of Superdrug’s finest face masks. I spent a lot of time loving other people in a way that I should’ve been loving myself, and until I got real and faced the hard truths about life, I was unable to feel comfortable in my own skin.

So, I challenge you all to take a leap and dig deep into your souls. Those thoughts that randomly resurface, embrace them, name them and take care of them. Show the kindness you give to others to yourself at your most difficult times, and most important of all learn what true love is, what you are giving out so freely to others must be given to yourself first… then run and tell me how soothing that bubble bath really was?

Diary OF a Lost Soul

He Cares Not For Your Tear’s Sis

18 Aug 2019 No Comments

From the tender age of about 5 or 6, I remember being told “crying is for babies”, as I evolved in age it changed to “crying is a weakness”. As much as my weekly counselling sessions vehemently refute the latter statement I agree with it to a certain degree, crying is a valid emotion that should be as freely released as anger, happiness or sadness. But there is one instance in which I will never share this emotion and that is in front of an uncaring man.

Now, I know some of my fellow sisters might strongly disagree with me and retort “so you won’t ever cry in front of your boyfriend or husband” and the answer is yes, I sure will. And the reason for this is because I would hope that the above mentioned would not be anyone who wished any less than the best for me. My use for the term ‘uncaring man’ defines a dude who has wronged you and fails to demonstrate any type of remorse towards the pain he has or may have caused you by his actions. Why such a militant response to another’s actions you ask?

photo of a person leaning on wooden window — Photo by Dương Nhân on Pexels.com

Both men and women are emotional beings, but I believe regardless of whether women show it our actions are more likely to be fuelled by the emotion we are experiencing within that moment. I am a hibernator of mine, so they are usually stored inside laying dormant until they are unleashed by a situation or a person that has either made me deeply sad or triggered the inferno sized blaze within me. Crying is probably one of the most vulnerable points for any individual, so it makes me infuriated to the highest degree when I see a woman reveal some of the most sacred parts of herself to a man who clearly sees this not as a bearing of her soul but an annoyance or waste of his time.

In the last few years, studies have eluded to the therapeutic elements of crying. (Psychology Today 2010) discusses the health benefits of tears in regards to our emotional state, It mentions emotional tears containing stress hormones and toxins that are released when we cry and also stimulate the release of endorphins which are natural painkillers.

I always advise any woman I consider dear to me not to cry in front of men for many reasons;

Men hate and are afraid of a woman’s tears
They cannot always comprehend the emotion behind the action
It makes them uncomfortable
They will say anything (lie) to make it stop
They see them as a weapon against them

blonde hair blur daylight environment — Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

Now I see crying as a therapeutic activity, not only do I psychologically feel freed after a Kim Kardashian style ugly crying face sob but those tight knots I always noticed but failed to see loosen as if an instant calm rushes over my body like the ending of a storm. This feeling of euphoria is only disturbed when the emotions you are sharing are not reciprocated or at least empathised. We have the right to be vulnerable in public as it is a method of healing for us, but that moment of clarity is stolen from us when the person we choose to share it with demonstrates that it has no place in their lives.

Our sister circles, therapists, family even co-workers can offer a stronger source of counsel than a retaliated “it’s not that deep”. Expose yourself to the people that will offer you support within moments where you require love and attention, not criticise or ridicule some of your most painful and sacred expressions. By no means am I encouraging us females to be fearful of showing emotions as it is healthy to release them because a man who truly cares for your wellbeing will nurture and protect all sides of you, but I urge my girls to be wary of terrified boys masked as men because they care not for your tears.

Diary OF a Lost Soul

My Love Lessons

30 Sep 2018 1 Comment

I thought I had everything figured out when it came to men in my late teens, I remember sitting in our then kitchen on my very quiet and intimate family gathering for my 18th birthday listening to one of my aunt’s give a speech about growing into a woman. She is the realist aunt to touch these roads so this talk definitely included some sexual connotations that my mum wouldn’t dare to mention. But as hilarious and as well as spine-tinglingly cringing that experience was that is not the most memorable part of it.

What really makes me repeatedly facepalm myself were my own thoughts, my theory on relationships was wanting a man that did not involve a lot of work e.g flat pack Ikea type of man. You get all the parts you need, but you have to put it together yourself. I wanted a bespoke man that had all the pieces already together and just required a little polishing or some WD40 to keep the hinges from creaking. Because I was already in tune with the fact that I loved my own space and company (this decision I made after years of having an older sister) me and my boo were going to buy houses next to each other and live separately, so if we ever got sick of the sight of one another we would just go back to our own spaces right?

: Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

Yeeea, I was definitely a naive and antisocial bird. But this theory followed me through University where I had boyfriends and developed “situationships” that I barely had a pinky toes measurement of investment too. They messed around and I didn’t take them seriously, that was the motto.

But all of that changed when I turned 24 and met my now current boyfriend. At the time of meeting him, I was beyond tired of the male species. Nothing was new, exciting or spontaneous so I had a lack of interest in embarking on anything permanent.

Our relationship has been nothing short of rollercoaster full of many twists and turns but one I have been reluctant to get off. I have learned so much about not just other people but also myself. So here are a few things that falling in love has taught me;

Patience is a virtue

I always knew that I had low tolerance levels, probably a result of being in a alliance with my own company for so long. But having to accommodate another person’s thoughts and feelings is a difficult thing to do, even some of the most caring individuals struggle with this. There will be unmeasurable accounts of where your significant other will tap dance on the very last nerve you have left such as leaving their boxers on the bathroom floor even though they know you detest it. Just remember that the union you hope to build is made up of both parties working together, and this won’t work if you are trying to emulate the Bart Simpson strangle technique every time they do something you don’t agree with.

Boy will there be rough days

I was convinced that if you were with the right person then you are less likely to argue, or it will make it easier for the both of you to agree on things in a harmonious manner. Well, we all know how wrong I was and it demonstrated to me that lots of arguments don’t indicate a terrible relationship. The reality is that when 2 individuals join together they will both have different ideas which can of course cause clashes, but what I have learned is that those experiences are teachable moments that allow you to learn what is acceptable or unacceptable for one another.

a-committed-relationship-with-my-wonderful-boyfriend-748x421 — Source: The Frisky

Your partner is an alien!!!

If you thought you knew your beau you are sadly mistaken, there will be a moment down the line into your bond that you will look at your better half as if you are just now meeting them for the very first time. Relationships take time to master and the getting to know period is longer than the 6-month honeymoon stage that everyone talks about, within time the novelty of new love wears off and things are revealed that you never expected. Don’t be alarmed this is what you signed up for, it’s just the fine print of the T’s & C’s we all hate to look through.

Don’t lose yourself

Sometimes it feels like getting into a relationship puts you into this impenetrable bubble, it’s like when you are together nothing else matters. Before you and your significant other came together you had friends, hobbies, career choices etc. and none of this should change because you have made an addition to your life. I have found that it is very easy to get so wrapped up in the confines of your love, that it is easy to forget about all of the things that made you happy prior to this person entering your life. In order for relationships to be successful it requires a lot of work, never the less do not forget that you are also a work in progress that depends upon vast amounts of TLC in order for you to flourish and be the best you can be for yourself not just for someones else.

man holding baby s breath flower in front of woman standing near marble wall — Photo by vjapratama on Pexels.com

Love makes you different

Everything you said you would never do will rear its ugly head in so many different ways at unexpected moments it will have you wondering if your body has been taken over by foreign agents. For example, I used to despise public displays of affection. I would be cowering in my seat whenever I would catch a sight of a couple sucking face in plain sight, the sounds would make me seeth. But I now shamelessly hold hands, kiss and cuddle bae in a variety of different places like there is no one around. So never say you won’t do something because love will show you just how wrong you were.

Falling in love has been life changing, I wouldn’t change the trials and tribulations that I have been through in these last 4 years. /even at my lowest moments I have dried my tear stained face and smiled at the lesson each adversity has produced and I look forward to learning much more.