Overthinking Will Have Your Ship Sinking

When I started Diary of a Lost Soul I decided that it would be a space where I used my personal stories to reach out to those far and wide who were probably experiencing the same things I was, finding it hard to work out this unpredictable journey we call life and were blaming themselves for making some mistakes along the way. I say all of that to expose myself as a chronic overthinker who is fed up of being consistently caught up in the matrix of rumination!

It’s clear to me from all the therapy I’ve had and the self-help books I’ve read that my overthinking pattern is impacted by several things;

1. Growing up with the concept of failure being negative

2. The oppression my culture has been subjected to

3. Societal constraints of living in an environment that although looks multicultural doesn’t reap the benefits of said title

My biggest issue with overthinking is the opportunities it has aided in me fumbling. I have definitely made more of a conscious effort in the recent years of my life to stop writing a dissertation in my brain before I make a decision, and act on something in the moment before I miss my chance. Despite my efforts to put on my big girl pants and tackle the situation, there is a full on governmental debate in my mind explaining why what I am considering might cause major trouble. Risk is a major fear of mine. I am terrified of making a choice that could put me in danger, cause me to fail, or worst of all require me to restart my life all over again. Reflecting back I think this is due to growing up and observing a lot of people make high risk decisions in their lives that unfortunately didn’t pay off. In the younger version of myself, I swore that I would not experience single parenthood, poor financial decisions, or relationship breakdowns that I witnessed people deal with poorly. My mind has been reciting that mantra so much that I think I have scared myself into following only the straight and narrow. Learning from the mistakes of others is important, but you can’t spend your life being afraid to live because someday there may be a casualty. Risks are sometimes necessary to help push you to the next stage in your development. If you don’t you could seriously limit your potential.

Even though I’m not a religious person, I’m learning to walk by faith and not by sight. There’s only so much I can control, since a path has already been laid out for me, and the more I try to be in control of the unknown, the more my destiny becomes like a mirage in the desert that could’ve been me. My school motto was “Carpe Diem,” which is Latin for seize the day, translated further by Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “Enjoyment and pleasure in the present without fear for the future.” When I was a teenager, I rolled my eyes every time I saw those words under an embossed logo. Today, though, they are words to live by.

If you are anything like me and want to live a life that is overflowing with abundance you have to take a leap, stop allowing the narrative of doubt to block your blessings. It is really good to be risk adverse but not so much that it stops you from doing things that could make you truly happy. If there is anything my time as a devout Christian taught me is that the bible says that man is given 70 years of life, although reality teaches us that this isn’t a benchmark for everyone but if this was my 70 years would I want to spend it on the sidelines watching others lives play out or would I want to be a part of the action?

Overthinking can be a superpower, but don’t let it steal your joy.