Growing up my environment wasn’t the most conducive, although I happily claim the fact that I avoided teenage pregnancy, drug abuse or crime. The strict guidelines didn’t permit much space for exploration of the world or belief that my wildest dreams could become reality. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a dream but I often feel myself daydreaming about the possibilities of my life with no control over when or how they happen. But in an effort to focus on some of the humdrum tasks I bat them away like Serena at a grand slam final to continue with my day.
If you’re a regular reader of Diary of a Lost Soul, you’ll remember that I discussed this topic in “The Power of Intentional Thought”. Manifestation is another buzzword we millennials love to throw around but it has been alive in the spiritual world since the dawn of time. As it is something that is now a part of the era of personal development the Cambridge dictionary description of manifestation is a sign of something existing or happening, which is true but feels slightly soulless. However, upon exploring this amongst the spiritual realm the definition deepens to your hopes and aspirations coming to life through positive thought and meditation. I have always had the power to actualise be those positive or negative notions, but lately, those things have been way too spot on and it is severely freaking me out.
I am a prolific planner. While I wasn’t always like that, a few stumbling blocks in my teens allowed me to find my rhythm with structure, and it’s been blissful ever since. So my home is full of weekly planners, diaries, journals and notebooks I use to keep me on track daily, monthly and yearly and it truly has been the cornerstone of what has helped me be as successful as I am today. Saying this I sometimes think it borders on neuroticism as the potency of organisation allows me to believe that I have more control over the flow of life than possible. Whether you are religious, spiritual, or just putting one foot in front of the other sort of person. One thing we can all agree on is the power of the tongue. It is very embarrassing for me to admit that I didn’t take this phrase seriously as a youngster, I thought its only strength was to rid my gal pals of the pain from boys who wanted to get in their pants instead of nourishing their hearts as they claimed. And as I have been in my “growth bag” voicing what I would like to achieve quickly comes to fruition and not exactly how I expected it to be packaged throwing me into a frenzy forcing me to push the brakes and return to the safe zone to catch a breath.
Recently, I have been struggling with that issue because I have a burning desire for more festering within me that my overthinking pattern and the deep fear of failure are preventing me from igniting. Usually, every New Year’s Eve I stay home alone with a bottle of Champagne and vision board in order to manifest what I would like to achieve or experience over the next year. Last year I chose not to and took my first solo trip ever to soak up new experiences making a list of intentions for the year which have guided me to this point past the halfway mark of 2023 still smiling and with a boatload of opportunities. This has always been proven to be constructive however the end product is never what I expected in a way that shakes me to my core requiring me to act immediately, and if you have been reading this piece from the start you will know that is not my strong suit.
I write this post as an ode to all those who secretly fantasise over a life or world that they lock away over their logically well-thought-out 10-year plan. We dream for a reason and it is possible for those things to come true, if I stuck with the life plan I had at 19 I would have been living in America under Trump’s governance and I really think I am way too good for that. Sometimes you just have to get off the main road and follow the voice in your head that keeps telling you to discover what is amongst the beaten track it can be frightening but there can be so much enlightenment behind the darkness. Be it your economic status, other’s opinions, fear of failure, or just feeling the warmth of your comfort zone don’t suppress your dreams. If you are anything like me that shit will have you waking up in the middle of the night haunting you like a horror movie so lean into it and see where it will take you.
