“Be the Change You want to see” Oxymoron or Wise Words?

I was raised to be a high achiever, not necessarily academically, but constantly curious about the world, seeking the things that are available, and trying to be better than the status quo. On top of that, it was also drummed into my head that as a black woman the version of myself I put out into the world needed to be one of high distinction so opportunities were endless for me. The older I got the more I realised that I was set apart from my peers and was even bullied for my vast vocabulary (a massive thanks to my mum being a dedicated educator), and voicing my opinions on not only pop culture topics but the societal issues that were affecting my demographic and beyond.

I was always told that this way of thinking and living was the way to be as it would catapult me towards all my hopes and desires. When I find myself in situations where I need to integrate into peer groups or search for a suitable male companion I feel like this is far from the truth. In the past I allowed the non-correlative message to encourage me to adjust my personality to suit the crowd, sort of like code-switching for social purposes. Nowadays I do not allow disbelief to make me question the character this way of living has built, but it does make me wonder how practical this advice is?

Whether it is a personal development-inspired social media page or a book penned by a self-help guru somewhere amongst the pages will be a quote that explains that we have to “be the change we want to see in the world”. According to these conservative party paved streets, this message is not ringing through. Almost everywhere you turn it seems that the idea of looking after oneself obscures those that are about serving and improving the community we live in. I am passionate about giving back, my whole career is based (and trust it is not for the money) so I often get frustrated when I see people begging for there to be an alteration in the direction this world is heading in whilst refusing to sacrifice their immediate needs to make it happen.

I often challenge this methodology because I believe that people can do whatever they want with the right mindset. Comments such as “not everyone is like you” throw me into a Charizard like fit of rage because as much as my favourite relatives told me I really am not that special so my decision to make better choices isn’t a personal characteristic but the determination I have not to allow generational curses to be a guiding principle in my future. I think the real problem is that people do not want to let go of their favourite vices that solve short-term issues. For example, the pandemic provided the world with not only reflective time, but also more extensive information about how our rights are slowly and quietly being taken away from us which a large percentage of the population is privy to. It may mean that to fight back and restore justice you will have to give up your favourite brand that continues to support those who champion poor humanistic rights or join those protesting. Sadly, many people feel this is too much of a sacrifice to make, so they continue on their current path.

The reality of the situation is that there will only be a difference in the world and to the experiences, we are having when we decide to do the work. We can rely on others to be agents of change but in this game, it is a combination of quality and quantity that will help us prevail overall. We need the ever-diverse versions of people as this helps all roles in society be fulfilled. Each one of these positions has a part to play in making this world more harmonious for the remaining time we have on earth and for those who occupy it in the future.